What had gone wrong?

As I sat back and listened with other friends over dinner, it had occurred to me that he had been courageous and had taken the decision that he wanted, to make a change to his life.

As he shared his story, I could hear the real disappointment in his voice. He reflected that perhaps he might have been on too much of a good thing with his old employer and career. Perhaps it wasn’t a career change he needed at the time, but just to change his work environment.

It struck me that sometimes people need to make a change so that they can see what they truly value. “My old career wasn’t bad at all, I had seniority, my input mattered, I had flexibility and I was intellectually challenged. This role has made me  realise that hierarchy stifles me and I can’t be creative. My input doesn’t seem to have meaning, as I am so far removed from decision making, despite coming in at a senior level. The intellectual challenge that I thought I would get is missing. If I am really honest, I miss my old lifestyle, and the freedom and independence it gave me.”

He made a decision that he wanted to make changes to his life. It didn’t go according to plan but it got him out of his comfort zone. It was very clear that he was using the experience to focus on what was important to him. Something he may have taken for granted if he had stayed put.

The dinner took place two months ago. My friend did leave his job and he is back in the career he left. He has gone in at a more senior level, and the role he now has will enable him to come up with creative solutions to complex problems. He will see at first hand the impact the decisions taken within the team he is leading will have on the organisation and the wider community. He is loving every moment of it. He has a clear sense of what is important to him in his career.

What are the lessons that can be learnt?

Sometimes when we are feeling bored with our work, it could be that we are in the right career but we have been doing a role for too long so we are no longer stretched. Or we might be in the right career but the wrong organisation.

Tip no 1 – Consider what is motivating you to make a change. What needs do you have that are not being met? Could your needs be met if you moved to a different organisation, team etc?

Tip no 2 – The other thing is around your values. What do I mean by “values?” These are the things that are most important to you in life. There are two types of values: ends and means. If I ask you “What do you value most?”, you might answer “love, friendship, money.”

Of these, love is the end value you are pursuing; in others words, the emotional state you desire. Friendship and money are means values. What I mean by this is that they are ways for you to trigger the emotional states you really desire (happiness, fun, love, freedom, security, creativity and achievement are just a few).

If I ask you “What do your friendships give you?” Possible responses could be happiness, love etc… what you truly value. So the ends you are after are love and happiness.

It’s a similar thing with money. I could ask you “What does money really mean to you?” You might say freedom, independence, security, the ability to make a contribution.

It was clear with my friend that a number of values were not being met in the career he had transitioned to.

Are you clear on your values? This is one of the things I feel is important for the clients I work with to be very clear on.  That is, to get really clear about what is most important in their lives. Your values guide the decisions you make. If they are not being met, you feel unhappy, frustrated etc. So do this foundation work before you make a change.

I am not talking about getting all hyped up with positive thinking. I am talking about understanding what’s going on inside your head and about finding appropriate strategies to deal with this.

Without mastering your inner world, you are held hostage by your fears, worries, self doubt, and limiting beliefs. However, being aware of what these are gives you choices.

By becoming aware of your subconscious limiting beliefs, You are better placed to take full advantage of career change workshops, interview skills courses, or even to revamp your CV/resume.

It’s important to do the deeper, inner work first, and then the outer results, such as interviewing effectively, will surely follow.

Self Sabotage

You may have a number of thoughts and feelings about changing career.

Can you relate to some of these statements?

“Am I doing the right thing?”

“What if I make another mistake?”

“I’ve got to start all over again.”

“What if I fail?”

“I can’t figure out what it is I want to do, so I’m going to delay making a change until I find something I really like.”

It is natural to have some self doubt, to feel anxious, worried or scared. You are doing something, which is outside of your comfort zone.  This may create a conflict between what you say you want (conscious thoughts) and what will keep you safe (your subconscious thoughts).

It’s your subconscious thoughts that tend to win out. This may mean that you are not getting the results you most wanted.

How would it be for you if you were doing work that was meaningful, played to your talents, and provided for the lifestyle you wanted? What would that do for you?

One strategy is to start noticing what limiting beliefs you may be holding.

Letting your fears and concerns take hold can lead you to unintentionally sabotage your attempts to make changes.  Perhaps you’re telling yourself that, “It’s hopeless to try and change career in this economy.”  Or, you say to yourself, “Why should I bother to make a change — it’s too risky.”

It’s understandable to have these feelings because we have a survival instinct of wanting to feel safe and secure. However, if this is the case, you could be operating from a place of fear.

From time to time, you may hear another voice speaking to you. Perhaps you can barely hear it as it’s a faint whisper being drowned out by your inner critic.

When it does break through, it may be the force that urges you to make the change and shift career.  Possible messages that it may be trying to tell you include:

“When am I going to use my vast array of gifts?”

“How about having some fun?”

“It’s normal to have some doubts, but I’ll find a way around them.”

Noticing how these two voices play out is the first step you can take to quiet the critic that makes you fearful.

Consider spending 10 minutes each day to gain a sense of what messages are being conveyed by your inner critic. When you have an idea, you can start to take steps to quiet them.

You may find it useful to work with a coach who will support you to raise your awareness of any issues that may be holding you back and support you to find your own strategies to tackle them.

Making changes are not easy, otherwise we would be doing them all the time. Understanding how change occurs will enable you to be kinder to yourself when you start to make a change, but find yourself relapsing into your old ways.

A useful framework for looking at change was developed by Prochaska. The framework has six stages but it is not linear. You do not necessary go through steps one to six in an ordered fashion.

So what are the stages?

1. Pre-contemplation –the stage before we start to consider making any changes.

• It is a tricky stage because if you are at this stage you do not see the need for change or may not have even considered changing.

• Types of questions if you are at this stage are: “ In what way would this change make things better for you?” What would be the consequences for you if you did not make the change?

2. Contemplation- During this period you experience ambivalence. You would like to make changes but at the same time you would like things to remain the same.

• To move out of this stage : it may be helpful for you to reflect on the ambivalence.

• For example, on the one hand you feel that making these changes will be helpful. Grab a pen and spent time writing down why it would be of benefit to you to change career.

BUT

• On the other hand you’re concerned that the changes that you wish to make will not work out! Write down those things that could possibly go wrong.

• Remember that you do have the personal choice to make changes to your current work situation. Even if right at this minute you cannot see it!

3. Preparation – I am intending to (or have just started in the last week) to make some changes to this area of my life. For each of you looking to make a career change your preparation may feel different. Some of you may start to read about or research different careers, others of you may start to take stock of what your skills and strengths, or tell your family and friends that you are thinking of changing career, etc.

The main thing is that you have made the decision to change career although you may feel quite uncertain and unsure if it is really what you want.

A question for you to consider is: “What made you make the commitment to yourself to change?”

Was it for a better lifestyle, more money, or a career challenge? Was it wanting your work to have more meaning or purpose? Was it to be able to spend more time with your family? Was it to start your own business or to enjoy more independence?

If you have not already done so, take a pen and write down what is motivating you to make the change. Is it that you are bored and what more meaning and purpose, an increase in salary, for health issues, for more independence, because of redundancy, due to your starting a family…..?

4. Action – I have been actively making real changes in this area of my life for at least the past month. I’ve actively started to take some steps towards change.

It doesn’t matter that you do not know what your ideal career would be at this stage. Don’t fall into the trap of having to know what your dream job is before taking action. This is one of the things that will keep you stuck.

The most important thing is that you are starting to take the necessary steps to find out more about yourself, what motivates you, and what your strengths are so that you gain more clarity as to the type of roles and environments that best suit you.

What could this action step be for you? Examples could include; extending your social network so that you can learn more about jobs, in different industries and fields, researching into various career options, taking time out to really get to know yourself again and what is important to you. It might be hiring a coach, finding out what is required to start your own business, or doing a skills and strengths audit. The list is endless, what’s it for you?

5. Maintenance – I have actively been making successful changes in this area for about six months. At this point it is important to work on your mindset, gather a support team around you, and keep on doing activities that will bring you one step closer towards a work that you love. Remember you don’t have to take big leaps, baby steps may be more appropriate for you.

6. Relapse- You may have started to make real changes but have slipped back into your old ways and are not doing the very thing that could take you one step further to building the life that you want. This is a normal part of change.

The important thing to realise is that relapse and slipping back into some of our old habits is actually a normal part of the change process. Instead of feeling bad that you have not attended a networking meeting or followed up on some voluntary work in a field that you are considering, acknowledge and reflect on what stopped you and held you back. What you could put in place to stop this from happening?

Think of the relapse as part of the change progress. Change does not occur over night. What have you learned from the relapse? How can you apply it so that it is least likely to occur again? After all there is no failure, only feedback!

Here are some hints and tips that successful career changers have used to fulfill their goals:

• They have a dream. Write a letter to yourself from the future. It could be 5 years from now. Describe to your present self what your life is like. What do you see feel and hear? What have you achieved?

• Pay attention to how you feel about the change you wish to make. What are your thoughts? Is your environment set up to support you?

• Surround yourself with people who want to see you achieve and fulfill your goals rather than those that would like to see you fail.

• Set SMART Goals

What is it that you really want? “You need to know what you are striving for or you will never know if you’ve got there.” So what is motivating you to change career?

Specific – when goals are vague we tend to make a half-hearted attempt to meet them. A vague goal would be to become financially independent. A specific goal would be to run my own business, making a profit within 18 months.

Measurable – how are you evaluating your progress?

Attractive – do you really want your goal to happen?

Realistic – Do you think that you can make progress towards your goals?

Time-framed – what time frame have you set yourself?

• Reward yourself, how will you celebrate achieving your goal or a particular milestone?

Lastly, remember, discomfort is a friend.
Not making changes is like having a well worn pair of shoes. They are comfortable and familiar. If change is what you want then you need to move into the discomfort zone. This is where change happens. Feelings of discomfort are good signs that you are moving forward.

We will all feel some ambivalence throughout the whole process (transition). There will always be some reasons for staying where we are. Leaving the comfort zone is always difficult. However, the feeling of getting up Monday morning and knowing that you are in your dream career is well worth it.

Olive Amoh (Registered Psychologist, Chartered Occupational Psychologist and Coach

http://www.careerchangeformula.com

They’ve both changed their career. One inspiring example is Susan Boyle, previously a carer looking after her ageing mum, who had the courage to audition for ‘Britain has got Talent’. A year later, she released her album ‘I Dream a Dream.’

What makes some people take the risk and develop their careers? And what makes some people who are clearly unhappy stay in unfulfilling jobs?

• One often overlooked area is our mindset. We spend time wondering if we can afford to change or whether we’ve left it too late, and trying to work out what we could do next.

• We often forget that our mindset plays a huge part in deciding whether we’ll take that leap or stay with what’s familiar and known.

• If you tell yourself you’re too old, or that you might fail or make a mistake, then your mindset is getting in the way.

• It’s natural to have some self-doubt, to feel anxious, worried or scared. You’re doing something which is outside your comfort zone.

• This creates a conflict between what you say you want (the conscious thought that I want to change career) and what your subconscious wants (which is to keep you safe).

• The Amygdala is part of the brain which senses potential and real stress, and orders the release of neurotransmitters which make us experience doubt, fear and anxiety.

• Without mastering our inner world, we’re held hostage to our fears, self-doubt and limiting beliefs. Being aware of what these are gives us choices.

• All those who’ve successfully changed career have experienced some doubt, fear or anxiety but have found a way to work through it.

What is important is to understand what’s going on inside your head and to find appropriate strategies to deal with this.
http://www.oceanconnections.com offers a complimentary report, with valuable information to support you in taking the first steps to changing your career